Cyclical Wisdom

Tracking and working with our cycle is such a significant barometer for our health. Imagine if the menstrual cycle were taught in connection to the cycles of nature, such as the moon, the seasons and deciduous trees etc. As a cycle that has its own significance, with distinct highs and lows that involve our awareness and responsiveness. How wonderful would it be, if we were taught this at a young age (10-12 years)? We would learn to trust our bodies so much more and to be in tune with our energy levels and the earth.

Many of the girls who attend my one day workshop (Celebration Day for Girls) arrive with hunched shoulders and stiff limbs. When we sit around the velvet circle, I break the ice and we have a laugh about how their mums made them come. They then get busy and co-create a mandala together, listening to me tell them about the cycles of nature, including their own. At lunch time their mothers return and we have an afternoon of storytelling. By the end of the day, the girls are smiling and confident, no longer afraid of what lies ahead. This is what I want for women who are facing perimenopause, aka their second adolescence: confidence and knowledge about what lies ahead. And to be at home in their bodies. 

Cyclical living makes so much sense but sadly, as a general rule, we’re not taught about the great round—from the phases in our life to the phases in our monthly cycle, to the phases of nature. Instead, we’re taught to go fast and go straight; go for success and expansion, don’t stop and certainly don’t rest! The modern day version of rest is binge watching which, let’s face it, is really about blissful escape and numbing out. The mind is still in the driver’s seat and the body gets to rest as an afterthought. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good binge but I love it more when it’s a conscious, self-care choice. One that’s in line with my cycle and with my body—my whole body. A note on ‘cycle’ here; you can either live in tune with the cycle of the waxing and waning moon or the cycle of the moon inside you (your ovulation and menstruation), depending on where you are in your life cycle. 

Women seem to be just as afraid as the girls are, about what lies ahead, regarding their changing bodies. Perimenopause generally begins in our 40s but the official age range is 35-50 years. The words menstruation, labour, menopause and perimenopause don’t always roll off the tongue easily and for many of us, they’re slightly repellent. Is it the sound of the words? Or the meaning that makes us take an internal step back? I suspect a bit of both. Either way, if we want a healthy relationship with our body, it’s not a great look, to be turning away from an essential part of ourselves! Culturally, the odds are stacked against us, and although things are slowly changing, shame, taboo and negative attitudes do still abound. As women, we’re far more likely to view our bodies through a lens of negativity and fear, rather than respect and trust.

I was in my early 40s—way too late—when I learnt about the many cycles of life and how they all fitted together. But better late than never and twelve years on, this wisdom has gone a long way in supporting me to be fully present with my menstrual cycle, my life cycle and my connection to the earth and the moon. 

I’ve mentioned wisdom a few times. And cycle. Circle. You may have noticed in the picture the mandala (meaning sacred circle) is split into four quadrants. There are four lines that represent the four directions and we begin to build a map of the cycles, using images. I start by placing seasonal images in each of the four directions. Winter in the south, spring in the east, summer in the north and autumn in the west (note: for the northern hemisphere summer is in the south and winter in the north). I then ask the girls to pick up the images of the moon (dark, waxing crescent, full, waning crescent) and decide where to place them, for example the full moon goes next to summer and the dark, next to winter. Slowly with each cycle (a rose, a human, the menstrual cycle) we build the map of how each phase holds the same flavour as those in the other cycles and how they all fit together. 

Later, we discuss how we feel in winter compared to summer. Or the middle of the afternoon compared to mid-morning. The girls begin to recognise some regularity in the patterns, so by the time we get around to the menstrual/fertility cycle, they’re quick to note when we’ll have more energy and when we’ll want to rest; when we’ll feel more creative and when we’ll be more reflective. Some of the girls are surprised to hear we have four distinct life cycles. They can easily pick out their own ‘spring’ cycle but take a little longer deciding whether their mums fit into the summer or autumn phases of their lives.

Traditionally, there have been only three main life cycles—maiden, mother, crone—but I’m happy to tell you there’s a fourth that sits between the summer and winter of a woman’s life: autumn. Wise woman or queen. This is the time of the harvest. The time to condense all of our life experiences into insight and give back to the world in a meaningful way. Such is the wisdom that I love to share with women, especially with those who have absorbed the cultural message that once you hit midlife you’re washed up, dried out and past it. Quite the reverse!

As the anthropologist, Margaret Mead so eloquently noted, “There is no greater power in the world than the zest of a post-menopausal woman.” There’s no doubt there’s a bit of transitioning to do, before we transform into our full and ripened, ‘zesty’ selves but it’s a lot easier to traverse the waves of perimenopause, knowing the shores ahead of us hold value and meaning. Both for ourselves and our communities. Such is the nature of cyclical wisdom, knowing in our bones that each phase, every season, has its own value and meaning.