Coping with Midlife Insomnia
I’m sighing as I write this as there are no two ways about it; nighttime wakefulness for women seems to be a common experience during perimenopause. As our body’s natural valium becomes less abundant (declining progesterone levels are one of the first changes) sleep can become harder to come by. Some women have trouble falling asleep from the get go. Others fall asleep but then wake up and can’t get back to sleep and for a few women (the unlucky ones going for the jackpot) it can be both!
Somewhere around our mid-forties (generally), our sleep changes and making it through the night without waking up can prove a challenge for many. Of course, this isn’t true for all women and your experience will be unique to you, to your own hormone balancing act and stress levels. For those who do suffer, the big question is how to deal with it? Some women like to get up and make a cup of tea and then go back to bed, others find this wakes them up more. For most, it’s trial and error as they work out the things that make them yawn and eventually nod off to sleep. Below are some of my trusted favourites.
Don’t watch the clock
When I was repeatedly woken up by my little ones, back in the day, one of the things that helped me cope was to stop watching the clock. These days, now that my body is the great awakener, all of its own accord, I’m thankful to know not to look at the time or calculate my sleep deficit. It really doesn’t help me relax if I’m worrying about how much sleep I’m not getting!
2. Breathing Exercises
There are all sorts of combinations you can try. A popular one is the 4-7-8 breathing technique. Many people report that this helps them relax and feel calmer which in turn helps them fall asleep. The idea is to breathe in through the nose, quietly, for a count of four. Then, hold the breath for a count of seven and then exhale, with a ‘whoosh’ through the mouth for a count of eight. Then repeat the cycle, up to four times. If you struggle with the count length, you can shorten the combination, as long as you keep the ratio, e.g. in for 2, hold for 3.5, out for 4.
3. Listen to a podcast
I could never understand why my grandma had the radio on at night until perimenopause hit! I am now an avid podcast listener—the modern day equivalent—when I wake in the middle of the night. I don’t usually get beyond the first half hour unless I’m having a really bad night. I make sure I find a speaker with a soothing voice that can lull me back to sleep and while I’m waiting, at least I’m being entertained. The idea is to choose something mildly interesting that doesn’t spark up your brain too much.
4. Make time for a nap in the day
Talking of grandma, there’s great wisdom in the 10-15 minute nana nap which is good for cell repair, the heart and hormonal maintenance, not to mention improving grumpiness. ‘Generally, naps are best taken six to eight hours after waking time. So if you're an early morning person grab a gazelle nap between 1pm and 2pm; if you are more of an afternoon/evening person go for a bear nap between 2pm and 3pm.’ (Sydney Morning Herald).
Fatigue is a part of perimenopause. It can hit some women like a freight train, especially if they’re not expecting it. Knowing in advance that it’s a part of the process can help. We need to find ways to build napping into our schedule, to give us a much needed rest and to help us get through the rest of the day. If, however, you find yourself needing a 1-2 hour deep sleep in the day (this is not a nap!), it’s time to seek some health practitioner support.
5. Reframe insomnia
One thing I’ve noticed is that the less time I have for myself in the day, for self-reflection and solitude, the more wakeful I become at night. When my wakefulness leans more into insomnia (i.e I struggle to get back to sleep) I like to frame it as soul time; time just for me because I haven’t been able to find it anywhere else in my day. Time to reflect, or if my mind proves too busy, to listen to a heartening podcast. This has proven far more positive than the other tried and tested response of getting stressed and upset about my lack of sleep.
Thankfully, like so many of the challenges of perimenopause, insomnia comes in waves. That good old mantra, ‘This too shall pass’ is very useful here. Supplements and herbs may also work well, so if you feel like things are really out of whack, seek support from a health practitioner.
(Adapted from “Changing Woman: Understanding Perimenopause”)
Photo by Alexandra Gorn on Unsplash